Final- Process 3
It is exciting to work with a medium which feels endless in the possibilities it presents. I have had visions for a long time that I was finally able to create satisfying images of with photoshop. “Faucet” is a visual manifestation of uncomfortable feelings and desires. The faucet is turned on, pouring water out from the center of my body. I have been playing with the theme of water pouring out of me since high school, with my “Queen of Cups” work. I like the depiction of water as uncontrollably leaving me. In high school I was thinking about loss of a loved one. Now I am considering anxiety and its physical manifestations, along with other issues I have experienced recently.
With “Faucet” I played with some new tools, including liquify. After much play I was able to use liquify to lengthen and curve the stream of water. I also drew on this piece to shade the water and create the droplets. This was the first work that combined drawing with the tablet and photography, which was super exciting for me. I also used the layer blending option which created a ghostly effect I really enjoy. I allowed this piece to become more conceptual with placing the faucet directly on top without interacting with my body.
“Tangle” is definitely the cumulation of all of the processes and gathering thoughts I had during the creation of this series. “Tangle” is about how my identity is in constant battle with itself, the inner arguments I have about gender and identity are constant and ongoing. The confusion that is created by the overlapping arms for the viewer is the confusion I feel if I think about myself too hard. I purposefully left only one face with open eyes that meet the gaze of the viewer. This clear gaze represents my hope that I can find my way through the mess of thoughts to just exist and find peace. The downturned faces contrast this eyes open face, with their unopened eyes that create a sense of self doubt. I create my identity visually and the color blue has become very important to me, so I had to have a huge plane of blue in the piece since my hair isn’t seen.
To summarize my prior works in this series, the images depict my searching to find something within myself and battling negative emotions and self doubt.
