When I went back home for Thanksgiving break, I was able to have my mom (a professional photographer) take pictures for me. This was, I realize now, essential to my project. These pictures are beautiful by themselves because of the quality, which makes my current play works much more attractive. My mom also gave me a few photoshop tips which I am extremely grateful for, including but not limited to- spot healer, curves, and blending layers. I am glad i got to see her process and how different it is from mine. It reminded me that there are infinite possibilities with Photoshop, and I need to continue expanding my repertoire of tools. I have been playing with the curves and changing colors, as well as learning more about masks (how to flatten mask layers!!). 

My process is a lot faster now that I have developed a method.

I haven’t been thinking too deeply about concept or defining my motives because I can feel that the concepts are there lurking under the surface, waiting for whenever I want to discover them. I enjoy simply losing myself in the process. A few things I have considered conceptually involve emotional states, and how I can represent the feelings of isolation/inner emptiness I can feel at times. Because my last works deal with gender, I also feel like these pieces illustrate that unlike other people I have nothing/ no gender inside me where it is expected. I am also thinking about, in my works like Twins and Forest, what it means for me to support myself. I am glad Prof. Ruby told me to just keep making as many collages as I could, without worrying too much about the meaning. She also told me to continue to complicate the images and consider the “rules” of the worlds I am creating within my art. I think I took that advice to heart pretty well.

These are relatively in the order I made them. They definitely became more playful.

I have to mention Bunny Michael, a queer artist who I follow on instagram. Their inspirational works deal with them and their “higher self” and after making my images I saw that there was a visual (maybe conceptual) connection between our art. Check them out here. http://bunnymichael.com/

Sandy Skoglund’s work instantly captivated me. She uses color and live/unalive forms to create strong juxtapositions that draw in and confound the viewer. I enjoyed all of her work but found these two examples especially interesting. In “Palm Trees in Suspense” Skoglund uses photoshop in a collage method similar to ours! She focuses on high resolution photos and color to create a scene that draws the viewer in and makes the eye tumble around the image, trying to make sense of it. The picture has this sense of movement and action, as though it is a candid snapshot. That idea is contrasted with the obvious unrealistic color.

In “Fresh Hybrid” Skoglund uses both live humans and humanoid sculpture which is extremely surreal. Although color continues to be important in this work, to me texture and form are more essential. They make the space seem real, although we know it is not entirely. She warps our perception.

The more I think about Sandy Skoglund, the more I am inspired by her work. What was fun about my last series was the warping of perception, but I like the way she achieves that effect seamlessly. Color is so vital to her work, it really helps pull the viewer in. I want my works to play with color and perception in the way hers do. I am going to work with my body to continue the theme of my last series. I need to find the factor, however, that will create dissonance and interest. Right now in my play stage I have created images with interest but without the discomfort I desire. I want to continue thinking about my body and perceptions of it, possibly thinking of gender as well.

Here are two slightly different versions of today’s play.

I didn’t go into this project with concepts, just visions. I ended up in the studio for around 4 hours on Friday working through my ideas in more depth which was satisfying. In this time I got used to using the basic tools in a more intuitive way. Hearing the thoughts of my peers and Prof. Ruby today in the critique helped me actually think about the deeper meaning that was inherent to the images I chose. Some of the conclusions I liked the most:

• No eyes= the fact there is no seeing in the first image, while the eye in the second image focuses seeing
• The mirror, the soul could be trapped in the mirror
• The self is evaporating, ethereal, while the table is grounded and strong.
• Inside vs outside spaces

While these were other people’s interpretations, I agreed with them. The biggest conclusion I can draw for myself has to do with gender, how other people see my gender in a way that I do not, so my seeing is often of no importance. How other people see me has nothing to do with how I see myself. How other people see me invokes the lips and speaking, while the mirror, with me taking a selfie, is the small part of me that is trying everyday to capture how I see myself.

Here are the images I used=

Here are my final 3 images=

Masks!

The tool that was most important to me during this process was masks. I watched this very helpful video- https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/masking-layers.html

How to do masks!

1. Click on the mask button on the layer you want to work with. For example I wanted to take the background away in the picture of me standing so we could see the could underneath.
2. Yay you made a mask! You can see it on the layer. To work with it make sure you have selected the mask itself, not the image.
3. Make sure your color palette is black and white. Black creates the background, while erasing/white adds back the frontmost picture. For example if I accidently covered up too much of my body with sky, I could erase the sky with white to reveal more of my body again.
4. I found that making selections and using the paint bucket tool was a lot faster than just using the tablet, however I did use the tablet and pen function to do much of the piece.
5. You can select the part of your photo that you want to make into the background with one of the selection tools and use the paint bucket to fill it.

I hope this was helpful!!

I was quite nervous to use photoshop for this project. I have used apps before that achieved similar effects (image blender). Therefore I was used to these types of experiments taking an excruciating amount of time and turning out nothing like what I had pictured in my head. Photoshop, while extremely complex, allowed me more space to work and more tools with which to make my dreams manifest themselves. I enjoyed the ability to isolate spaces on each layer I wanted to turn black and white. Learning maks was intuitive, exciting, and unlocked an entire realm of possibilities for me. I went back into the picture and changed up the background to experiment. Digital is flexible. I feel like I could keep playing with the image forever.

It was all about seeing, not about making. We were tasked with using our hand to draw the outlines our eyes made while we were looking. It was all about the process, although the product was quite interesting. It was strange to see a meaningless scribble on the page, which was vastly different from the detailed sketch in my head. I began to realize that the reality I was witnessing was much more complex than the ideas I held about each object I drew. Reality isn’t perfect in my eyes.

At first I was confused about the contour aspect of vision and was focusing on line. Eventually I began to see the shadows and the shapes they created. It was continuously difficult for me to go slow. Part of who I am is an inability to slow when I am doing things I am passionate about, I rush naturally. When I did attempt to be more deliberate with each line, the product became more like the vision in my head. However, I enjoy the aesthetic of the random chaotic scribbles.

I found myself still thinking “how can I make this look good? I want this to look pretty” at some points throughout the process. I fought that deep seeded teaching by using my left hand. I knew that there was no way to make it perfect with my left hand so the entirety of my focus was on the shapes I was seeing. It was a somewhat difficult process, but quite enjoyable overall. I liked the feeling of letting go.

Here are my “finished drawings”

Once I figured out how to make a gif I was so excited! This is something I have wanted to do since I was in high school and had a tumblr. I always wished I could create gifs of music videos to decorate my blog. Now that I can create in this accessible format, I am excited by all the possibilities. I played with tweening but didn’t like the effect. I became more interested in seeing my process in the chair gif, so I slowed down each frame and made the last frame longer so there is a bit of rest on the final product.

Click on each image to see the animation!

I think aesthetically I am more into the first rendition of my chair but I appreciate this assignment as a way to hone my skills of sight.

Clicking back and forth between the process photos is exciting thought because I can see every little adjustment I made. I can’t wait to continue to refine and define the work. Who thought a chair could be so interesting?