“Abigail critiques my work and if she did not know something she looked it up so we both learn. There was no pressure and I felt really comfortable.”

“I had a really great appointment with Abigail. She was patient to help me with my paper and to help me figure out what I wanted to convey in my writing. I was so glad that by the end of the appointment we were able to work together to improve my paper. She gave me a lot of compliments on what my paper does well which gave me more confidence in my writing capabilities.”

“I liked her jolly personality. She was very easy to talk with and share ideas. I liked how she wrote my thoughts down so I can better reflect it in my essay and not miss and points discussed.”

“My appointment with Abigail was amazing, and there isn’t really any suggestions for improvement I can think of. She frequently asked me about the ideas I was trying to convey, which allowed me to hear it and create a clearer sentence. I liked that she was flexible when I needed more time, and extended the appointment by 30 minutes. I knew what to improve by the time I left.”

“Abigail gave amazing feedback on my art history paper. Her experience in art history combined with her writing skills and kindness made for a very productive appointment.”

“Abigail helped me a lot in figuring out where to start with my assignment.”

“Abigail is the best!!!!! I went in really nervous about the public reading for nonfiction workshop, and left feeling a lot more confident.”

“Abigail was extremely helpful in directing the brainstorming process and pinpointing the next steps to move forward.”

“It was very comfortable, and gave me better ideas on how to improve my writing.”

“The appointment went really well because we addressed my ideas and how to start planning for my essay, as well as what materials to use.”

“I would go back to Abigail again.”

Visual art is a language that crosses other boundaries. During my anatomical drawing class, I sketched many of my peers. The representation of themselves was impactful. By drawing their portraits in a realistic way, I was showing them how I saw their beauty, by valuing the details of their face that made them individuals. As the class progressed, some of my peers in that class became really good friends to me. It did not matter that I was completely unable to understand the dramatic icebreaker game we were playing on the first day of class, or took extra time to understand each assignment, and that I couldn’t really join in on many casual conversations. My visual language was stronger than my spoken one.

I found that typography was its own language inside of visual art. That class was the easiest for me to understand by far. Even though we were studying brands and advertising in Spanish, I was able to understand what the type was communicating to the same degree as any of my Spanish speaking peers. I was fascinated to discover that serifs often give an elegant and classic look, while san serifs are more modern and sleek. These basic facts about fonts translate to whatever written language is using the font. I found that incredible. Although my professor may not have been able to understand my portrait zine that had captions in English, I am sure the handwritten statements communicated to him that it was a deeply personal work.

The fact that my work was based around art is what allowed me to be successful during my study abroad semester. I did improve on my Spanish speaking, and toward the end of the semester I was able to communicate in Spanish in a way that I had never expected to be able to. But I also came to understand that learning a language by immersion is one of the most difficult endeavors one can pursue in their adult lives, and it requires a high level of gentleness toward the self, and the ability to forgive oneself for the inevitable mistakes one makes.  As I struggled to make my voice heard in a language that was foreign to me, art stayed by my side as a constant reminder that I will always be able to express myself visually.

When I first started working at the Turning Sun Clairmont campus as an intern this August 2019, I was surprised by how much freedom and independence was given to every student. Initially compared to my lifelong experience of public school, the lack of clear top down teaching felt slightly chaotic. But this view was almost immediately shifted as I began working with the more experienced educators at Turning Sun. By observing the children, over time you can see their process of learning and how even the smallest experience can be a building point for a larger idea. 

I can give an example of the public school mindset vs a Reggio mindset that I have noticed in my own life. When I was younger I would always take the labels off of jars. This bothered my mom who told me that it would be harder for me to know what I owned. Now, having more experience in a Reggio system, I can see a different way to handle this situation. I would ask the child what they were doing and closely listen to them. I would document their actions and question how they relate to the child’s development. Was taking labels off of jars serving as some type of physical challenge? Or did the jars need to be clear for dramatic play that was being impeded by a brand? Did the clear jars just please the student aesthetically? I would come up with predictions and try to scaffold the activities of the student by giving them the resources to clean the jars better, or something else to build off of this activity. If it is purposeful, it is important. As an adult I take the label off almost of every glass jar I buy and I recycle them into my home, as cups or storage containers. Taking the labels off of jars was an important skill I felt the urge to learn as a child that is now serving me in my everyday life. This is not a skill they teach in school, in fact I am sure if it was a teacher who saw me removing labels, she would have had the same reaction as my mom. That is because the learner is not valued as an individual in our current systems which expect students to all learn the same thing at the same time. That seems so blatantly unrealistic to me after studying Reggio students this year. Every one of them has strengths and weaknesses and I do not believe they should be held to a singular standard when they all have different ways of learning.

In our changing world where anything can be learned from a YouTube video, and it is valued to be a self-starter, but so many of us have no idea what we really want, what type of educational system makes the most sense? I would argue that the traditional systems of education that view the student as an empty vessel to be filled up with basic facts and repetitive skills are becoming more and more outdated. Students are active learners and have always brought something to the table when it comes to learning. This is different today because anyone can learn anything by referencing the internet. I believe it is more important to foster a sense of independence, community, and joy in learning. With those skills the student is equipped to follow their own desires to more powerfully research and discover the things that really interest and inspire them. This is something I have been able to observe at Turning Sun and I know I will take these values with me wherever I decided to teach.

The Issue: Every day while I was sitting at the front desk welcoming visitors, I began to notice a trend. Many people stayed in the gallery for an incredibly short amount of time, such as 10 minutes. This did not make sense to me, because there were four gallery spaces and around that many large artistic installations. When I talked to the leadership of the Atlanta Contemporary about this, they verified that people not spending very much time in the gallery is a problem. When I began to watch tours and listen to people respond to the artwork, I overwhelmingly began to understand that many people, especially adults, think that they “just don’t get” contemporary artwork. They don’t understand that personal interpretation is an essential part of enjoying modern art. People don’t know how to have a positive experience with this type of art, and do not understand how a negative experience with art is just as valuable as a positive one. These thoughts came to a boiling point when I saw a tour given to children from a summer camp. The 6-year-olds had absolutely no issue talking about the art and exploring it. I feel that part of the reason people don’t like contemporary art is that we have been taught it is not for everyone, instead of being learning that there are certain ways everyone can appreciate it.

The Idea: To remedy the fact that adults feel uncomfortable and unable to have interactions with contemporary art, I decided to invent some kind of guide that used questions in an interactive and fun way to help people think more deeply about the art at the Atlanta Contemporary. I wanted to create a box that people could draw random questions out of and settled on the matchbox as both a size and conceptually appropriate format. I wanted this box to be able to be used by a pair, a group, or just an individual. They should stand in front of the work of art, draw out a question, and use it to guide their thoughts to a deeper level about the art.

The Process and Product: Using the Atlanta Contemporary font, colors, and logo, I designed the exterior and the interior of a matchbox in photoshop, then made several prototypes out of different materials. I usually make 2D art, so 3D things are always a challenge, but luckily I had some practice boxmaking during my time in Mexico taking a typography course.

The final prototype here includes the matches and is basically usable! Some difficulty using the material impeded the product from being as clean as I wanted, but I think that this idea could be a huge asset to the experience of those visiting the Atlanta Contemporary. This box helps the viewer understand that what they bring to the table in terms of their identity and prior thought is essential to be a viewer of contemporary art.

Designing this piece independently reminded me that I have a sustained interest in design as well as Art Education, as well as a curiosity about how those things intersect.

In Mexico city, we saw first the History of Mexico in the stairway of the National Palace. This mural and the others in the upper level hallway show in depth both the violence and national pride of Mexico in a really raw way. Rivera depicts both slavery and the accomplishments of the Mexican indigenous people. The size of this mural is important, and seeing it in person was much different than seeing it online when I originally learned about it. The mural is larger than life and is overwhelming, much like the complex history of Mexico.

To complement the murals of Diego Rivera, we next went to the Blue House of Frida Kahlo. It was pretty unreal seeing where she worked, lived and suffered. Looking at  some of her unfinished work and her lesser-known work reminded me of how technically (as in classical technique) talented she is. It was also very moving to see photographs of her I had never seen before.

It is interesting to consider how internationally renowned Kahlo is, which I think she is much deserving of. However I began to wonder if we celebrate her at the expense of  other Mexican female surrealists.

Next, we saw the Templo Mayor, the Aztec temple that was buried by the Spanish. It has been uncovered in the middle of Mexico city and is juxtaposed with the church that is right next to it. The Museum for the Temple is like a monument itself, it is really well designed and has countless incredible pre-cortesian artifacts. My favorite artifact was the Coyolxauhqui disc. It is truly awe-inspiring and I  spent a long time looking at it.

At the Museo Nacional de Arte both me and my mom were really impressed by an exhibit about Carlos Mérida. He was a prolific artist who celebrated Latin American culture and also innovated abstract art. His is some of my favorite abstract art I have ever seen, and I think it’s really disappointing he is not included in the general art history canon that I was educated in.

While in Puebla we had to go shopping for some of the traditional pottery called Talavera. It is unique in that the designs are often three dimensional, and the paint is very strong. Mom bought four bowls in this style.

We saw much more art than this but these were a few highlights! I hope that I can continue to learn about Mexico’s artistic legacy while making some of my own art soon.

¡Hasta Luego!

My Working Question- How can I make compelling art that shows the process of my eating disorder and recovery in a way that feels authentic and innovative?

My hours, which I may not have recorded fully

The only artist I was able to find who works explicitly with eating disorders as her subject matter (also does happenings!) – Maria Raquel Cochez

Here is the culmination of my works this semester. Click on the videos to watch them!

I am grateful that I had the time and space this semester to delve deeply into my art and artistic process. It felt so good to uncover the themes that seem inherent to my work and examine them. I finally embraced the fact that I make art about my eating disorder and recovery, it seems like it steeps into all of my art and was present even before I realized it consciously. I also have noticed that BDSM visual themes find their way into my art as well. Maybe that is because BDSM and EDs have much in common in terms of hunger, wanting, restraint, bondage, and punishment. This is a relationship I hope to explore further in my future art.

Here is a humorous video exploring food BDSM

When we were encouraged to research what was interesting to us, I began to dig into the intersections of Eating Disorder and art. I wanted to find art about EDs that was for more than purely symbolic representational or for therapeutic value. I read “Sublime Hunger, a Consideration of Eating Disorders Beyond Beauty” and my mind was blown. I started thinking about how EDs are so much bigger than just appearances and concern about weight. Eating disorders are addictions, they are ritualistic, they are comforting and stabilizing, they are powerful. I want to make art that concerns all the things about EDs that one cannot so easily see. I am also interested in this topic because it is very difficult to find artists that are explicitly working with ED’s as their subject matter. I think they need to be spoken about in more contexts so they can be more deeply understood and have the stigma around them broken down.

With this knowledge, I was able to create the video Water Talk, which depicts me both drinking water and walking into a pool fully clothed. This video showed my descent into the ED behaviors while my other works this semester show my struggles with recovery.

I started this semester’s research thinking that I should create more photoshop self-portraits (which I do enjoy making and I want to work on more in the future). However, I was very glad when Professor Ruby suggested that I push myself by experimenting. From this discussion I set up three experiences: Dinnertime Happening, Blue eating, and Donut Game. The results of the Dinnertime Happening were very exciting, I felt that Maya and I both being blindfolded and her struggling to feed me was a very good representation of my body reconnecting to my brain and the difficulty of it in recovery. It felt exciting to know that I could make art about recovery, not just the worst depths of my ED. That gave me hope. Blue eating felt a bit weak but possibly could be a place of more exploration (what does it mean to eat like a child, play with my food, coerce myself into eating)? The Donut Game was incredibly silly. It was based off a game that I and Gracie (the other player) had experienced as children. I added the hand ties to our version because I knew I would cheat otherwise and it made it adult difficulty. This experiment specifically sparked questions about similarities between EDs and BDSM as it was visually very BDSM. There were elements of restriction and pleasure in this piece that are inherent to both. Does the restriction cause pleasure? I would like to recreate this experiment again with some different foods and people.

I felt as though I should include the video “Leave You,” as it contains themes of containment, loss, interpersonal struggle and bondage. It would be very easy to assign my ED big ideas to this video.

Next, I came up with the idea for “Stomach Punch.” It came from me thinking about how by having an ED for so long I basically might have punched a hole in my gut. EDs do irreparable damage to one’s body and I will be dealing with the physical consequences of mine for a very long time. I did the initial painting in two hours because I did not want to become too precious with it and not want to punch it. When I punched the representation of my stomach and it felt satisfying in a sick way. Then I felt guilty for doing it, and I was filled with some regret. Eventually, during the process of sewing, I was able to overcome this feeling. The process of sewing took so much longer and was much more difficult than the instant relief of the punch, but in the end, I was glad I repaired the painting. The scar is still there, but it also adds something to the piece. This action was a pure metaphor for my ED.

A longtime goal for my art is to move away from self-port portraiture. I want to do this to make my work more universal and less self-centered, which is why I was glad when Maya asked me to paint a large nude of her. Because she wants to give this portrait to her boyfriend I thought it would be humorous to model her pose after Venus of Urbino by Titian. I also included fruit and flowers in the picture because she really likes to eat fruit. I think the image has some type of symbolic meaning about recovery but I haven’t figured that out yet, maybe I will when I finish the painting. I like the challenge of painting and spending the time with it.

I do not feel bound to any medium specifically and am happy I got to play with a variety of mediums this semester. This work felt incredibly productive and powerful and I cannot wait to continue in my senior seminar next year. 

I realized after giving my presentation to my peers I am not making art about eating disorders, but art about the process of recovering from an eating disorder! It is very hopeful for me to recognize that.

It was incredible to hear Yehimi’s story in person, as she presented to the LDR class I tutored for this semester. She is a forceful public speaker and a fearless storyteller. It was moving when she spoke of her dad being gone in her childhood because he was illegally crossing the border to the US to scrape up enough funds to move them from an aluminum (?) house, to a wood house, to a concrete house. Her family is important to her, and she represents them consistently in her art.

Yehimi spoke about moving to the US so that her family could reunite with her father when she was in elementary school. She knew no English and felt ignorant except for art. She said how art became her solstice, and something she was passionate about. She won the Holocaust remembrance art contest when she was in middle school. Because she didn’t have a social security number she couldn’t accept the prize money, and this seemed like an important turning point for her as she saw how severely her immigration status impacted her life. Money was an important thread throughout her story. Money is what made people move from country to country to accept jobs in terrible working conditions, but money is also what validated her as an artist and person. When she was able to get a full ride scholarship to Agnes Scott, she mentioned how astounded she was with the amount they were offering her.

Along with money, education has been important for Yehimi. She said Agnes Scott’s education was liberating for her because of the way it made her think about intersectionality. She has returned to teach at the high school she went to and has been an important figure for the students. The representation she provides them with because she succeeds even though she is undocumented is incredibly important, especially in the wake of Trump’s election. She said about his election “I knew it was the truth of our country but I didn’t think it would be legitimized.” She guided her students as they prepared art pieces and rallies about immigration rights.

“I knew it was the truth of our country but I didn’t think it would be legitimized.”

She said that she didn’t make art for 3 years when she started teaching, and in that time she stopped calling herself an artist. I found it inspiring how she was in the right place at the right time to get the chance to make her first Butterfly mural. It’s good to know that even if you stop making art for a bit, it will just happen if its meant to. Yehimi had never made a mural before, but her Butterfly mural was a huge success and now she is a rising muralist. She is getting to paint what she really wants, which is portraits of people that are important to her. Her art is inherently social justice related as she fights battles for representation. The Butterfly mural has been painted over because she refused to silence herself, and the political and humanitarian nature of the work made the owners of the wall uncomfortable. I was able to help her with a tree mural in November 2017 and she is one of the kindest, funniest and most deeply inspiring people I have ever met. I am excited to continue watching her success.